Sipping time is a relaxing time when I am alone, a time for introspection. With beloved Lillian at my side…and with some crusted bread and mildly flavored cheddar cheese--how poetically Omar Khayyam expressed it:

                           "A Book of Verses underneath the Bough,

                            A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread – and Thou

                            Beside me singing in the Wilderness--

                            Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow!"

Sometimes a simple carafe wine with a simple lunch—red, white or rose—will satisfy and in most instances add fillip to the food for neophytes.

The drawback occurs if the carafe has been filled with wine from an improperly stored gallon jug—near heat or alternating freezing temperatures, or from a jug that held considerable air for an extended time. Better then to order wine from a self-contained carafe, Paul Masson for one. Alternative, order a half bottle or two glasses from a freshly opened bottle.

Wine ordered by the glass frequently is "weary, stale, flat and unprofitable." If the restaurant isn’t popular for its wine, one that isn’t constantly pouring wine, insist the wine come from an unopened bottle, even if you have to visit the bar to check on the bartender.

I recommend rose wine—a white zinfandel--for the uninitiated who would dip their toes into the waters of wine experience, a good kindergarten beginning from which, with continued tasting and tutoring, wine sophistication ensues.

A word about white zinfandel, the most popular wine in the United States: Thirty years ago, white zin didn’t exist. It was invented at the Sutter Home Winery, which had begun to experiment with a sweet-edged wine made from an indifferently regarded red zinfandel grape. Americans were enjoying white wines, and Sutter Home thought a blush variation of white wine might be successfully marketed. How right they were! Today red zin, from which blush (white) zin is made, is the most widely planted grape variety in California.

Dinner, though, is wine’s raison d’etre. It augments the cook’s culinary skill by contributing flavor dimension to the dish it accompanies. No meal is a disaster where wine is served. New brides take heed, pour wine before the meal, during the meal, after the meal.

The tropical fruit, spice, vanilla flavored Vichon Chardonnay 1998, about $10, is excellent as aperitif or with hors d’oeuvres, especially shrimp, cheese and smoked salmon. For fish, veal or chicken entrees with pronounced sauces and spices, select full-bodied whites—any Robert Mondavi Coastal Chardonnay, $11.

Robert Mondavi’s La Famiglia Pinot Grigio ’98, $16, pairs well with antipasti, grilled halibut with mango salsa and Thai dishes.

Try any Vichon Merlot and Errazuriz Cabernet Sauvignon, both about $10, the former with lighter seasoned foods, the latter with more robust fare.

The flavor of spices and sauces should determine your wine choice: Heavy, strong, pungent flavors require full-flavored, full-bodied wines; light, delicate, subtle seasonings match better with lighter more graceful wines.

Dining enjoyment is heightened when wine shares the table discussion. Unlike food, whose flavors are easily described and are usually agreed upon, opinions about wine usually differ. When disagreement elicits far-flung metaphors, i.e., "graceful as a galloping gazelle," "as acidic and flinty as my mother-in-law," "like sipping bottled sunset," such expressions evoke groans of amusement, and the chortles of friendly derision add entertainment.

After dinner the table is cleared, the guests are too comfortable to remove themselves, so they sit and wait. Exhilaration swells when small wine glasses and a bottle of rich, sweet French Sauternes or Port or Cream Sherry on a tray are carried into the room. Or it could be a Brandy or Cognac and balloon glasses.

The after-dinner wine climaxes the meal. Warmth radiates throughout the room. Madam Newly Married Bride, your inaugural dinner is a crowning success!

Caveat: Avoid serving fine wine should you have the temerity and ill judgment to heavily garlic your food. The overpowering pungency overwhelms the wine and destroys its flavor…and worse yet, if invited, I would neither eat the food nor would I ever return.

Wine pick: La Famiglia Sangiovese 1997, $22, blended with refosco, barbera, charbono, teroldgo. With layers of plums, cherries and crushed dried spices, its intriguing spiciness and enhancing acidity deliciously accompany pasta with cream or cheese sauces, or game, chicken or full-flavored fish.