"Fun" Wines Become Serious Palateering
by Julian Schultz
julian@oxfordwineroom.com
I had never sipped 23 wines – white
and red – that I rated at least 100/100, (B on your report card) to straight
A, 150/100; and with one exception among the white wines, an A-plus. Jim Nicas
always gives us more than what we pay for.
So…happy was I…happy I alone…I,
who felt secure in Jim’s wine selections, braved the discouraging weather
elements to attend another monthly Sunday, 3 to 5 o’clock afternoon tasting.
No matter had the weather been fair, or foul, or rain, or shine, pleasure this
afternoon would be mine; and not heaven itself would have power to alter, as I
would sight, sniff, savor, spit, speak and have a delightful rewarding hour.
As usual, I began to pontificate. I
hoped not to risk mayhem upon me or to bore everyone glassy-eyed when I
corrected some novice tasters who were too quickly sniffing (if sniffing at
all), quickly sipping and quickly swallowing:
“Sniff, concentrate, delay; sniff
again, concentrate harder, delay longer; sniff again, savor the sip on the
palate for a bit, slosh the wine around in the mouth, concentrate before
swallowing, try to ascertain its smoothness/viscosity and length of
aftertaste,” I pleaded.
Some sour looks acknowledged my
well-intentioned advice, as I continued, “So far into the tasting these are
well-made wines and should taste the way they smell, maybe even better. The
flavors should linger pleasantly on the taste buds and in the upper part of the
throat after the swallow and linger in the aftertaste.”
“Oh, hell! That sounds
like that Schultz guy is flexing his wine ego again”: I heard speaking one of
the three rain be-drizzled attractive young women who swept into the room,
shaking drops off their coats. Coats off and
-- oh, oh, I know them – dressed in pantsuits were Boopsie in red,
Bubbles in white and Toodles in blue! Their presence presaged an exciting
afternoon, at least for me, based on my experience with them at a wine dinner a
few years ago – pleasure mixed with dismay.
Boopsie, after a
perfunctory peck on the cheek, addressed me, “We were in your quaint historic
state, thinking the Red Faced Sox would be in the World Ser-ious; so they blew
it big time, big time with Little managing. So we thought we might
visit here to see the Sargent (sic) Pond sea serpent that you once wrote about
in a wine column, so fearsome with its eyes a’glowing fire, its jaws
a’belching steam that it makes the Loch Ness monster look like Mickey Mouse
--”
Bubbles interrupted,
“no, like Alvin the Chipmunk -- ”
Toodles interjected,
“no, like Little Red Riding Hood.”
Boopsie, “Well,
whatever, all we saw were snowflakes and rain. No sea serpent. How come?”
“If you remember, I said
you must be sweltering under the simmering sultry sun of summer and must have
been drinking three or four tall Boris Gudinovs – remember, the concoction of
vodka, absinthe, bourbon, rum and Campari with a salty Greek olive and a dollop
of whipped cream?”
Bubbles: “My god! If I
put away even one of those killers I would see a rowing crew of Godzilla, King
Kong, Mighty Joe Young, The Swamp Thing, the One-Eyed Cyclops and The Abominable
Snowman, with the wriggly-snakes-coiffure-d Medusa as coxswain, sculling down
the pond.”
Toodles, her nose crinkled
disdainfully, had been looking around at some of the 30 sniffing and savoring,
oohing and aahing palateers. “So what’s the action here this afternoon? It
looks to me like the same old bull…. routine that you and I discussed at the
Oyster Cabin a few years ago.”
“No, no,” I said
remonstrating with her, “no discussion. You alone were all mouth that
evening, and you caused me plenty of embarrassment.”
“The hell I did!” said
Toodles, disclaiming. “As I remember our conversation, this was the scenario
-- ”
I interrupted, suggesting
– why don’t we sip some white wines first?
Of the nine white wines,
representations from Loire, Oregon, Alsace, Washington, California, Spain and
Australia, I price-value rated four
150/100 (straight A on
your report card – one exception):
Tokay
Pinot Gris “Jean Baptiste Adam” 2002, Alsace, $13-$14;
Semillon
Chateau Ste. Michelle 2001, Washington, $12;
Roussanne
Jaffurs Winery 2001, Santa Barbara, $21;
Algendaret
2002, Penedes Spain, $12.
With the exception of the
superb bone-dry, spiced, fruited, balanced, A-plus Algendaret, all others among
the white wines were sweet-edged fruited – some less than others – with
varied aromas and flavors among them of citrus, apples, melon, pineapple,
spices.
125/100, A-minus: Albarino 2000, Galicia Spain, $19-$20.
115/100, B-plus:
Rosé
of Virginia “Charles Melton” 2003, Australia, $12, (blend of shiraz, petite
meunier, cabernet sauvignon, grenache and riesling) fruit and fruit
acids-balanced aromas and flavors of cherries/raspberries;
Viognier Jaffurs Winery
2001, Santa Barbara, $23.
B-rated wines, 100/100:
Gratien & Meyer “Cuvée Flamme” Samur, non-vintage sparkling wine from
the Loire Valley, $15; lots of lively fruit, not toasty/yeasty;
Pinot
Gris Erath Winery 2001, Oregon, $15.
Both
wines are very well worth the price.
If you see any of these
whites wines on your favorite wine shops’ shelves, buy them. Hell, seek them
out!
Between annoying giggles
and seemingly inside snide comments about the tasting ritual, the three
pants-suited lovelies disagreed with some of my evaluations, although they
didn’t denigrate any of the wines: “You’re just too damned enthusiastic
and forbearing, Julian,” protested Toodles.
I said, “Can I help it
if I have an enthusiastic, optimistic palate? Preferring to find the positives
in wine, not seeking negatives? When a wine doesn’t suit my palate, I am
reluctant to report it in print. Anyway, who says the Almighty has endowed my
palate, or any palateer’s palate for that matter, with perceptions
infallible?”
I urged them to give their
undivided attention to tasting the wines and to refrain already from the
giggling shtick: “Wine dinners are deadly serious business with us. Our
dispositions for an entire week may reflect our pleasure or displeasure with the
wines we taste.”
“OK, sour puss, party
pooper, we’ll refrain from giggling…so disconcerting to your sensitive
psyche! At least we’ll try – won’t we girls?” Boospsie said.
Bubbles and Toodles nodded
serious assent…they immediately giggled, and the three of them exchanged high
fives.
I rested before I tasted
the red wines. The three ladies joined me as I visited the hors d’oeuvres
table, lavishly spread with a beggar’s purse mixture of chicken and spices,
chicken kabobs; Muenster, Cheddar and Blue Tobais cheese; red and green grapes,
cut up cantaloupe, sliced pears and plums, apples; hot chewy rolls and varieties
of toasted breads and crackers.
What follows now is some
of what Toodles related about our two-years-ago experience: “You took
exception to our giggling, you snidely referred to us as, ‘a gaggle of
gruesome giggling Gerties,’ when Boopsie said you shouldn’t be so grim, so
deathly serious about your tasting the wines.
“Yes, Julian, we had
been warned that we might see solemn, stone-faced, dour men sniffing their wines
with noses so deep into their glasses – like you! -- that their ears look like
flapping airplane wings.”
Boopsie: “We’re
serious, I mean, we’re serious, when we see grown men delicately sniffing and
sipping like…la-de-da, then uncouthly snorting, upchuck gargling and grunting
like swine in a pen. Ridiculous!”
Bubbles
added something about “men with frowning furrowed foreheads and grim grimacing
faces because they couldn’t seem to fathom what the wines smelled and tasted
like. And then -- even worse! -- they repeated the whole asinine procedure!”
Yes, I did recall that
experience. Bubbles had been hilarious and after wiping her eyes, said, gasping,
“I’m sorry, but it all looks so stupid! I find it laughable to witness grown
men acting like…like nut cakes!” Then the three of them fell over each
other, thumping the table and laughing uncontrollably.
And I also remembered now,
when I had departed the Oyster Cabin, I saw a stretch limo parked by the front
door, its door panels that read, The Three Stooge-ettes. A uniformed chauffer
respectfully opened the door for them. Hmm, entertainers?
As Jim was pouring the 14
red wines I excused myself from them, saying I needed to taste, take notes, and
leave the tasting before the sun had set.
I rated three wines
150/100, A:
Barbera “Bricco Buon
Natale” Il Podere winery 2000, Santa Barbara, $15; worthy of A-plus;
Carignan
2001Luddite winery 2001, Napa Valley, $18;
Cotes
du Ventoux 2001, Domaine Brusset Rhone (blend of grenache, syrah, mourvedre,
cinsault) $12.
All the above wines were
loaded with ripe fruit, were beautifully balanced with fruit acids, showed firm
but soft tannins and smack of oak, offered smooth texture and lingered in the
finish. These wines are something else; seek them out.
A-minus
rated wines, 125/100:
Blue
Franc Shooting Star (lemberger grape) 2002, Washington State, $16;
Sangiovese
1999, Miner Family, Mendocino, $18 – typically Tuscan with assertive game,
smoke, underlaid with fruit aromas and tastes; atypical of other wines in the
tasting;
Teroldego
Il Podere winery 1999, Santa Barbara, $15.
Wines rated 115/100,
B-plus:
Malbec
Dona Paula Estate 1999, Argentina, $13 – abrupt intrusion into the tasting --
barnyard Burgundy nose and palate was off-putting to some tasters, especially in
the context with the lush fruited other reds; atypical of other wines in the
tasting;
Cuvée
Le Bec 2001, Beckman Winery, Santa Ynez, $15;
Chateau
Gres St. Paul 1999, Coteaux Languedoc, $15 – nose slightly reminiscent of
Burgundy barnyard, good fruit, interesting complexity.
Pinot Noir 2002, Zenith
Estates New Zealand, $15;
Primero (grenache grape,
carbonic maceration: some fermentation inside the grape before pressing – lush
fruited) 2002 Farina Estates Toro Spain, $15;
Los
Olivos Cuvée 2000, Qupe Winery Santa Ynez, $16, except for its somnolent nose,
fruit and flavor were worthy of an A-rated wine;
Grenache
2000, Jeffurs Santa Barbara, $18; rereading my notes I should have rated it
A-minus to A.
B-rated, 100/100: Cardinal
demi-sec (off dry with some sweetness) Gratien & Mayer sparkling wine
non-vintage, made with cabernet franc grape, from the Loire Valley, $18. Rosé
type, good wine for kindergarten tasters.
I asked the trio of
mocking ladies –mocking me it seemed -- if this tasting replicated the
“nonsense” (their expression) that they had witnessed the few years back.
“Not at all,” said
Boopsie, “this tasting is more about socializing, more congenial, more
relaxed, less frenzied. And Jim Nicas discussed each wine, gave us the blend
compositions and patiently answered questions. I’m made to feel like Miss
Congeniality here – wouldn’t you say so?"
Was she teasing me? Humph!
She was anybody but Miss Congeniality, to me. Fancying myself a
gentleman, I said, “Well, the atmosphere here certainly induces congeniality.
I can see where you are coming from…so, now, how would you describe me?” It
seemed like a good time to burn the bridges of any lingering animosity between
us.
No hesitation by Boopsie,
blurting, “To me, you are the pri – “
Toodles hastily
interjected, “She was about to say, The Prince of Pomposity! Boopsie
had said after meeting you last year that your ego is five times larger than
your modesty.”
It was no-win with these
ladies. I saluted them, blew them a kiss, mingled with more friendly tasters and
departed after having thanked and congratulated Jim for a splendid and
noteworthy afternoon of tasting.
Wine Pick: Robert Mondavi’s
Woodbridge new “Select Vineyard Series” Cabernet Sauvignon 2000, Red Dirt
Ridge, $11. Lightly blended with Merlot; sniff, taste and enjoy complex aromas
and tastes of blackberries, dark chocolate and spice; 15 months aging in small
oak barrels imparts subtleties of vanilla and toasty oak; smooth swallow,
lingering finish; fine wine, fine price.
Wine Pick: Reynolds (Australia)
Chardonnay Reserve 2002, $15. Aromas of citrus, tropical fruit and – yes! –
crème brulée; palate loaded with rich, luscious and smooth butterscotch,
vanilla, melon and lemon/lime flavors; persistent aftertaste. Australia
certainly makes remarkably pleasurable and price-worthy wines.
Wine Pick: Montevina Pinot Grigio
2002, $10. Enjoy aromas of pears and floral spices; palate: fresh, smooth, rich,
reminiscent of pears, peaches and apricots; clean, crisp, firm, nicely balanced
with fruit acids, smooth texture; long aftertaste, short price. Go forth, seek
and buy.
Wine Pick: Dry Creek Reserve Merlot
1999, $30. Here’s a big, serious, super wine of 14.5 percent alcohol that
should age gracefully for 10 additional years. With small amount of Petit Verdot,
the Merlot offers aromas of cherry, mint and slight anise with underlying hints
of chocolate; palate: velvety, full-bodied, elegant, with the aroma’s
influence and flavors of plum, currant, lush berries and toasty oak; much depth,
smooth swallow and lingering finish. Serious drinking, I mean, serious drinking!