by Julian Schultz
julian@oxfordwineroom.com
The wine dinner was odd, albeit delightful: Yes…tall, willowy, winsome Wendy Leo, who brings charm and luster to Mass. Liquors on Chandler St., near June, was in graceful and gracious evidence. Peppercorns on Park Avenue expectedly did not disappoint with its imaginatively prepared palate pleasing food. The wines of South Africa were as compassionately priced, as they were delicious. So what was odd?
Here’s what was odd: Wine devotee delightful Debbie Duggan was
disgruntled. C. Binghamton Cheepliegh bolted the reception wine and cheese
course to wash his hair. Away without a whimper went my 20-year-old prejudice
against South African wines.
Now…Debbie
in the presence of wine usually is delirious with delight. Cheepleigh, when in
the proximity of Wendy, is all eyes and sighs. I unreservedly sipped on seconds
and thirds of the seven “ei zigga zumba, zumba, zumba” wines (popular South
African war chant we sang in Cairo, Egypt, during World War 11, when in the
presence of invited South African doctors and nurses at Officer Club parties).
So what was it with them and me?
This is what: “Cheap and mediocre!” snarled disgruntled Debbie,
shedding her customary charm, becoming challenging and confrontational. “I
also read somewhere they don’t last much beyond five years.”
Cheepliegh,
upon being told that he smelled like he had just emerged from a New Orleans
whorehouse, muttered in aghast that he had used his visiting daughter’s can of
sickeningly sweet, heavily scented hairspray to control his unruly hair. He
rushed to the men’s lavatory, saying he didn’t want its awful odor to ruin
for all us our ability to identify and enjoy the aromas and flavors of the wine.
Twenty
years ago at a Worcester Wine Society tasting at the old Yankee Drummer Inn, an
aggressive annoyingly assertive obnoxious South African wines female rep from
South Africa, tried to usurp my meeting with her interminable sales pitch and
would deny me the pleasure of listening to myself pontificate; I detested her,
and consequently directed that emotion towards all South African wines.
It
all started with wondrous Wendy: “No stuffy elitism tonight,” she announced.
“No budget bursting preeminent Bordeaux, no pretentious Burgundies. Just value
priced, easy drinking wines of South Africa – and you will discover that I may
be understating its quality.”
She
addressed frowning furrow-browed disgruntled Debbie, her lips crinkling with a
knowing smile, as she sipped her Pinecrest Chardonnay 2001, $9.60 (20 percent
discount prices shown here are still available). “You may find that South
Africa produces sophisticated oak-aged reds and elegant palate caressing whites
to rival the wines of California and France, but at much lower prices.”
I interjected, turning to dubious disgruntled Debbie: “Anyway, we
should periodically deny pampering our palates with the pleasure of prestigious
wines.” I was among the 30-plus diners who quickly confirmed Wendy’s
contention that the less than $10 to less than $25 wines might afford pleasure
equal to bottles priced at over twice as much.”
Disgruntled Debbie snorted her doubt and disdain, “Humph! Well, maybe I
avoid South African wines because I don’t enjoy adventuring and suffering with
wines from relatively obscure regions. Life is just too goddamned short for
that!”
Her emotions rampant now, her pretty nose creased ugly with displeasure,
she assailed the open-mouthed, Wendy-adoring Cheepliegh: “Bingy, you smell
like you spent a week in a New Orleans whorehouse!”
Alarmed, Cheepliegh looked anxiously at Wendy, “Dear nymph in my
orisons Wendy, do I indeed smell as if I had just emerged from a New Orleans
whorehouse…err, brothel?”
Ever tactful Wendy shook her head, “Bingy, I wouldn’t know what the
inside of a New Orleans whorehouse smells like, or that matter any other
whorehouse. But your hair does seem extravagantly and luxuriantly perfumed.”
“I’m off! I’m off! I’m off to visit the men’s room to rinse my
lengthy locks. As our revered General Douglas McArthur heroically said in World
War 11, ‘I…shall…return!’ ”
I explained to bystanders amused by the proceedings, “At serious wine
tastings, perfumes, aftershaves, lotions and aromatic hairsprays are explicitly
forbidden and the prohibition is vigorously enforced.”
Wine
affioncados are fanatically passionate at wine tastings. I recall a friend
asking is fiancée to vacate the tasting room because her strongly scented
“Aphrodisiac” cologne significantly disturbed the tasting ritual. For me, it
made her unusually seductive, and I was pleased when she refused to go. She was
more satisfying to gaze upon than was the wine to sniff and savor upon.
I was hungrily eating away on thirds of the three cheese varieties and
crusty chewy bread, avidly sipping seconds of the Pinotage 2001 (a combination
of Pinot Noir and Cinsault), $11.19, when I sensed good friend and caring
physician Dr. Bob Ouellette, his eyes hard, was focused on me.
“Oh,
oh,” I thought, “I must be eating and drinking too fast and too much. He’s
indicating that I had better consume less of both and at a slower pace.” I
averted my eyes, fearing to hear again his obligatory lecture on gluttony and
that he wouldn’t kindly countenance my whining and moaning next morning about
my bad night from over-indulgence.
I
thought it better that I cease to eat and drink, and to cleanse my palate with
water. The exasperated good doctor grimly smiled approval as I sought his eyes.
But I feared there would be limited joy this night with food and wine:
frustration from denying myself the euphoria of relentlessly tasting exquisite
food and wines.
Had
I protested his concern, Dr. Bob would have repeated matter-of-factly, as he has
done so many times after we had attended wine dinners together: “That’s what
friends are for. Lucille and I had assured Lillian on her deathbed that we would
look out for you…and we do…and we will.”
The
sincerity of his statement so simply made – nothing dramatic -- brought a lump
to my throat and tears to my eyes. Sheepishly I smiled my thanks to Bob and
Lucille.
Cheepliegh
returned from the lavatory, wearing a moth-eaten, raggedy black beret, singing,
“Hey, look me over; give me a whirl.” He affected a – tra! la! --model’s
graceful exaggerated pose, arms akimbo.
I
interrupted: “Hey Bingy, where’d you get that filthy – that filthy –
shingle on your head?”
“Got
it from a bar fly downstairs in exchange for a Bud Light,” he answered.
“Looks dashing, don’t you think? Gives me sort of like the suave continental
look – right?”
“Gives
you sort of you look like Pierre Pscher, starving abstract artist from a garret
in Montmartre. An army of lice must inhabit that beret. Suggest you discard it,
before you become itchy-scratchy Bingy,” I advised.
Revolted,
he threw the beret into a trash receptacle; his locks, although disheveled,
looked and smelled clean. Wendy, Debbie and I nodded our confirmation.
We
settled in our seats, Charlotte Maisto, Dr. Fred and Pat Busch, Dr. Bob and
Lucille, Dr. Ron Dorris alone tonight, Dr. Roland and Norma Caron, and I. The
dinner began with a discussion by Mr. Anton Beukes, winemaker for Pincrest and
Moreson Vineyards in South Africa. Informative stuff: geographical, technical,
vine growing and care, winemaking, barrel fermenting and aging. All good stuff
to help us understand and appreciate his wines.
Notes
on the reception wines, both 4-star-excellent of aroma, flavor and price value:
Pinecrest
Chardonnay ($9.60): “Bravado of green apple, lemon/pineapple, citrus, freshly
cut grass; some vanilla, toast and nuts; crisp with perfect fruit acids balance,
smooth on palate and in swallow; lingering sweet-edged aftertaste.” (Dr. Bob
of black belt palate and discriminating wine cellar placed an order.)
The
Pinotage ($11.19): “Reminiscent of pinot noir and hints of petite sirah;
pomegranate, cherries, berries, raisins, toasty oak, some black tea and tobacco;
initially disconcerting assertive fruit acids improve; super, super wine
value!”
A
loud, “Hey, man, not at all bad!” echoed from the adjacent table where
Debbie and Cheepliegh sat. No-longer-disgruntled Debbie, her finger wagging
between the two wines, was addressing Cheepliegh.
Said
Cheepliegh, nodding in agreement, “I’m sure you mean the low prices. I’m
ordering three of each – no, upon reflection, two of each; no, upon further
reflection, I’m staying with three of each. Where is my divine Wendy to place
my order?”
“Look,
nut cake, I always talk quality first, then price. A nut cake knows the
price of everything and the value of nothing,” said Debbie reprovingly.
“Oh,
come now, Debbie. Oscar Wilde, English poet, children’s storyteller, and
playwright said that – and he said ‘cynic,’ not ‘nut cake.’ ”
Cheepliegh, proudly smug, looked around to ascertain if he had been
appreciatively overheard.
Retorted
Debbie determined to get the last word in: “Well, better the witty fool, I may
be, than a foolish wit…that you are. So there!”
Cheepliegh
muttered something about Shakespeare, then resignedly shook his head and let the
matter drop.
Appetizer
course of toasted corn and cilantro bisque was paired with Moreson Chenin Blanc
2002, $12.79. Never before had I
anything like the bisque -- delicious, delicate and not at all filling -- in all
my dining experience, certainly imaginative and innovative. I thought about
ordering a take home container for tomorrow’s dinner.
I’ve
never been a Chenin Blanc enthusiast, but the Moreson was something else again.
I enjoyed every slowly sipped taste, relishing the varied and integrated flavors
of lime, melon, apricot, pineapple and grapefruit; zesty fruit acids nicely
balanced its sweet fruit. Humm, I must rethink my indifference to this varietal.
First
course: Chilled crawfish tail and green string beans salad with curly lettuce
leaf and Bermuda onion marmalade, dressed with roasted yellow onion pepper
cream, was accompanied by Wild Quagga Cinsault/Shiraz 2001, $8.80.
Oh,
if only the pepper part of the yellow onion cream had been eliminated or
reduced! Overly conspicuous, the pepper muted the magnificent plums and berries
flavors of the wine. Poured and tasted before the salad had been served, it was
sensational…as to aroma, mouthfeel, flavor, swallow and aftertaste…“spice,
currants, tar, sweet wood, hint of mint.”
“…And
price!” Cheepliegh shouted, upon hearing my assessment of the wine. “Wen…dy!”
he called, “add three bottles each of the Chenin and Cinsault/Shiraz to my
order – firm!”
The
entrée and the two escorting wines were gems! Had we been served nothing else
this evening, this course alone would have been worth our presence: sliced
grilled marinated flat iron steak that rested on a bed of toasted nut and mint
infused couscous, sensationally accented with pomegranate chutney and the two
faultlessly compatible Moreson wines, each $22.50: Merlot 1999 and Cabernet
Sauvignon 1997. If ever there was a marriage made in heaven with food and wines,
we were privileged to be invited guests.
Next
morning at 9:30, the crack of dawn for me, Dr. Bob called: “I left my menu at
the restaurant. So what again was the name of that steak and how was it
prepared? Lu says she will gladly join me when she makes it for me.”
Bob
had already voiced his enthusiasm for the wines at the dinner and gave an order
to Wendy; he was overhead by Cheepliegh and Debbie. Cheepliegh called over to
Wendy, “Think maybe I may follow Dr. Bob’s advice and place an order –
whoa! Each bottle costs $22.50 each?! No cotton pickin’ way!”
Debbie:
“Don’t be so cheap, Bingy. You liked it, so buy it. Why let a little bitsy
thing like price prevent you from the pleasure?”
Cheepliegh
with thespian intonation: “Cheepliegh is my name and buying cheaply my claim
to fame!”
Debbie
snorted derisively and returned to alternating sipping her wines. “I find the
Merlot delicious and big with tastes of berry fruits -- blackberry predominating
-- black pepper and varied spices that give unusual complexity to a wine so
young of maturity. And the Cabernet Sauvignon is more assertive and harder, but
softens in the glass. Its complex cassis, blackberry, tar flavors presage great
drinking and increased complexity with further bottle age. Both wines are nicely
balanced, lots of fruit in the swallow and long pleasing aftertastes. Bingy,
both wines are well worth the money. Your being so cheap is your loss, you poor
penurious penny-pincher!”
Cheepliegh
addressing Debbie, “By my astute calculation, one bottle of each would wine
cost me $45. I can buy five – do you hear? Five! – One, two, three, four, five
Wild Quagga Cinsault/Shirazes and still have…an almighty dollar left
over!” He called over to Wendy to add five of the wines to his order.
And
what a conclusion to the delectable dinner! Warm raisin and chocolate bread
pudding with tangerine soured cream! I ate away ecstatically and looked
longingly at dieting Charlotte Maisto’s hardly touched portion, which I should
have made mine.
Wine
Pick: Another Paso Robles beauty from Midnight Cellars: Midnight Cellars
Chardonnay 2000, $14.99, a 13.9 percent biggie that is so perfectly balanced
with fruit, fruit acids and texture that one isn’t aware of the high alcoholic
content. Enjoy lively acidity, superb fruit of apples, citrus, tropical fruits,
sweet spice, rich creamy viscosity. Price value 150 over 100!
Wine
Pick: A mad but delicious blend of riesling, three muscats (greco, orange and
canelli), sauvignon blanc, French colombard, chenin blanc, viognier, pinot gris,
marsanne, roussanne and a dose of verduzzo that shows elements of grapefruit,
gooseberry, white flowers, lemon, mangoes, and lemon chiffon. Don’t let the
screw cap throw you! This $10 Best Buy Big House White Ca’ del Solo of Bonny
Doon Vineyards (2002) is a crisp, lively, sweet-edged conversation piece,
collector’s wine…and unmitigated delight.
Wine
Pick: Robert Mondavi’s Woodbridge Zinfandel 2001, $7.00, a blend of zinfandel,
syrah, barbera and petite sirah, is a lovely wine of plum, dried cherry,
aromatic clove spice and cedar with hints of vanilla from oak aging. A Best Buy
you won’t regret on your palate and nor to your purse.
Wine Pick: Reynolds (Australia) Cabernet Sauvignon 2001, $15.00, is impressive with ripe/bold aromas of cherry, cassis, licorice and tobacco; these are transferred to palate with added chocolate, lush cherry, currants with a touch of mint. A Best Buy.