by Julian Schultz
julian@oxfordwineroom.com
Jim Nicas’ monthly Sunday
afternoon wine tastings at the Castle Restaurant resumed after a much too long
summer hiatus with a variety of California – one from British Columbia – red and
white meritage wines: a blend of varietal grapes.
Jim, snickering, said he had a treat for me: He would introduce me to “Scary”
Sharry Sharpe, “a first-timer to these tastings,” he said, adding, “She has an
attitude, a feisty attitude underlaid with a raunchy vocabulary. It may need
your getting used to, as I had to do at my wine dinners that she attended when
she lived in the area.”
“What do you mean by ‘she has an attitude?’ ”
“Well, to be with her your mind is ‘to suffer the slings and arrows of
outrageous mis…fortune,’ ” Jim said, chuckling.
“Jim, do you mean she quotes Shakespeare…Hamlet?”
“Not that I know, but at the slightest provocation she quotes the ‘Dock
Walloper’s Ode to the Expletive.’ Your tender sensibilities may be outraged.”
I laughed and assured Jim -- in hindsight…rather smugly -- that “when it comes
to attractive femininity, which she has and is rounded and upholstered in all
the right places – fore and aft -- I can adroitly handle with my mustache
twisting charm anything she could throw at me.”…Humm, witless cavalier was I
that had such conceited, ill-considered words to say.
Upon acknowledging the introduction, Sharry immediately asked…with unconcealed
hostility, “Why do you keep referring to James as ‘Jim’ when his name is James,
and ‘James’ appears in his references to himself and in all written
communications?
“Listening to you referring to him as ‘Jim’ likens him to blue collared, beer
bloated, Benny the bar bum. Why? Prithee, why!?”
I said, I think of “James” as a stiff, haughty butler with airborne nose or as a
servile family chauffeur/retainer: “Home, James, and don’t spare the speed
limits”; “Yes, Sir, yes, Sir, sorry Sir.” I said Jim is a genuine friendly
out-going guy whose primary interest is to educate people about wines while they
taste them.
Quickly replied Sharry, “Well, James wears a tuxedo, has a shiny silver tasting
cup and a clanking cellar key around his neck. He wore them at the Escoffier
dinner earlier this year – you were there -- and he looked just so handsome like
– ooh! -- Omar Sharif, the Egyptian actor! I imagined a romantic James galloping
across the desert, his ass bumping up and down on a camel’s back, his robes
flowing behind him.
“His manner is much too elegant, imposing, that it should be denigrated with –
bah! – a nickname. By the way, what is your nickname…if you countenance having
one applied to you?”
I shook my head, didn’t answer, but thought it might be “idiot” for my allowing
me to become involved in discussion with her.
After she studied the menu of the 19 wines we would taste and knowledgably
commented on some of them, I was impressed and congratulated her. I agreed to
exchange perceptions and evaluations of the wines with her.
I was too hasty: She said she was glad that I congratulated her, added, “I do
not suffer fools gladly who disagree with me.”
She set the tasting rules for us: “You comment on the hedonistic: the pleasure
afforded by the wines, except when I disagree with you. I will try to confine
myself to the price/quality value (PQV) – the price/quality values! – of the
wines – the reality for the would-be buyers. Any problem with that!?”
I was too intimidated to protest. I later suggested to Jim that he confine his
further introductions to come-hither, sultry, submissive, seductive women with
flaring nostrils, oozing all fire and desire.
Jim, emphatically: I…will…not!! I want to keep you around here alive and vital,
not my having to visit you at the B’nai B’rith cemetery.”
The wines. I rated them 1 to 5 stars: 1, fair; 2, good; 3, very good; 4,
excellent; 5, perfection. Because of space constraints, I will discuss wines
rated 4 and 5, but will identify the 1s, 2s, and 3s.
All wine prices shown are approximate and may vary slightly among wine shops.
White wines:
Bonny Doon Big House White 2004, $12.49, a blend of Viognier, Chenin Blanc,
French Colombard, Sauvignon Blanc, Pinot Blanc and Marsanne. My notes: “Big
complex fruited wine; balanced, crisp, sweet-edged, dense and immense.” 5 stars,
perfection. Sharry: “PQV 150/100; phenomenal!”
Qupe Cuvee Bien Nacido 2005, $18.99: 50 percent each of Chardonnay and Viognier.
“Soft nose, full-bodied on palate, dry, crisp, balanced, big sweet-edged fruit;
delightful.” 4 stars, excellent. Sharry: “PQV 125/100. Excellent.”
Langtry Meritage 2001, $26.49: 60 percent Sauvignon Blanc, 40 Semillion. Rated
2½ stars, good to very good. Sharry: PQV 100/100.
Clos du Val Ariadne 2001, $22.25: 74 percent Semillon, 26 Sauvignon. “Quiet
nose; lively, big fruited, fresh, balanced, crisp, some wood. Not at all
shabby.” 4 stars. “PQV: 100/100. Worth its price.”
Red wines:
Cline 5 Reds 2003, $9.99: Syrah, Zinfandel, Alicante Bouchet, Mourvedre,
Grenache. “Big plum nose, big plum/berry flavor, smooth texture, crisp acidity,
firm tannins, mouth-filling, lingering after ‘dry’ swallow.” 5 shining stars.
Perfection plus. “PQV: 200/100. Exceptional, unbelievable value!”
Jazmin Cellars Cuvee #1 2001, $17.49: 61 percent Syrah, 31 Petite Sirah, 8
Merlot. “Fermented plums/cherries nose; big, big fruit – like a spicy Port,
balanced fruit, tannin, acidity, texture.” 5 twinkling stars. Perfection. “PQV:
125/100. Fine value.”
Jan Kris Crossfire 2003, $11.49: 50 percent Cabernet Sauvignon, 25 each of
Merlot and Syrah. 2½ stars, good to very good: “Shy nose; good fruit with big
body, good potential lifespan, imbalanced now with too much volatile fruit acids
for me.” “PQV: 150/100. Big bargain, a door breaker.” (So Sherry and I
disagreed; she sniffing at me with disgust.)
Jade Mountain Provencale 2001, $26.49: Equal blend of Mourvedre, Syrah,
Grenache. 3 stars, very good: “Perhaps tasting with salty blue cheese and
introduction to disturbing sudden first time all-Rhone blend sharp-edged my
palate.” “PQV: 125/100. I disagree with dour, jaundiced Julian’s jerky palate.”
As we tasted we munched away on Cheddar, Muenster and Blue cheeses, cheese
spread, with a variety of toasts and crackers; this was interspersed with
nibbling on grape varieties, cut apples, pears and pineapple. Glowing Sharry,
her arms pumped to her mouth with wine and food non-stop.
I suggested she forbear lest she become surfeited before the always delicious
hot hors d’oeuvres were ceremoniously paraded in from the kitchen to eagerly
anticipating palateers who hovered impatiently around the hors d’oeuvres table.
Sharry admitted that she was “filled up to here,” and proposed we continue
tasting and that we return later for the hot hors d’oeuvres. She chided me
grimly…I might have warned her sooner that the best was yet to come.
Newton Claret 2001, $24.49: 65 percent Cabernet Sauvignon, 20 Merlot, 10
Cabernet Franc, 3 Malbec, 2 Petit Verdot. 4 stars now, 5 stars after 5 years
cellaring. “Shows attributes of contributing varietals; reminiscent of an
impressive Bordeaux…a Gruaud-Larose; somewhat hard now.” “PQV: 135/100. Superb,
its price notwithstanding.”
Clos Du Bois Marlstone 2002, $54.99: 66 percent Cabernet Sauvignon, 21 Merlot,
10 Malbec, 3 Cabernet Franc. 4½ stars, excellent to perfection. “Woodsy/fruit
complex nose; great balance of fruit, acids, tannin, texture; fleshy; smooth
after “dry” swallow, persistent aftertaste; difficult to spit.” “PQV: 100/100;
150/100 at half the price.”
As Sharry was proffering her wine glass for Jim to pour the Geyser Peak Reserve
Meritage Alexandre 2002, $44.49, Cabernet Sauvignon, Cabernet Franc, Merlot and
Petit Verdot, a palateer behind her, also reaching, lost his balance and hit my
arm. My red wine spilled onto the back of Sharry’s dress – gleefully shining,
smiling -- on the most graceful part of her, which is round and rosy: like the
jocund sun at the break of dawn. Oh, would that I were that blessed wine!
I hurriedly got some white wine to remove the stain and gallantly wiped her
firm, rounded posterior –
She interrupted: “Wipe it, goddamn it; don’t squeeze and pinch it!”
-- rounded posterior more blessed, more to be envied than the heaven’s rounded
full moon. Mesmerized and in holy devotion, I murmured, “Your ass is just so
beautiful, it is a shame you have to sit on it and conceal it from the entire
world to admire. A portrait of it should grace the walls in the Worcester Art
Museum gallery: The crowds would line up to Lincoln Square.”
Sharry, dryly, “I assume you would be first in line, hours before the Museum
opened. What a voyeur you are, Julian!”
Alexander Valley Vineyards Legacy 2001, $59.39: 70 percent Cabernet Sauvignon,
20 Merlot, 10 Cabernet Franc. 4 stars. “Plums, plums, and more plums in nose and
on palate; acceptable balance with tannin and fruit acids competing with fruit
and texture; plums in aftertaste after dry swallow; grows in the glass with
intermingled flavors emerging.” “PQV: 100/100. Very good wine, but not for $59.
Screw ‘em!”
Howell Mountain Estate Ilona 2001, $39.49: Cabernet Sauvignon, Cabernet Franc,
Malbec, Merlot, Petit Verdot. 3½ stars, very good to excellent. “Assertive
complex vinous nose carries to the palate with ripe balanced flavors and balance
of fruit acids, texture, tannins; a blessed marriage of vinous tastes, more
mature than its youthful years.” “POV: 135/100.”
Our tenuous tasting relationship came apart with Justin Isoceles 2003, $74.49:
91 percent Cabernet Sauvignon, 6 Cabernet Franc, 3 Merlot. When I said I rated
it a “charitable single star, fair,” that it had a “deep, hard nose, flavor
combines musty earth and flinty mineral, has yet to ripen,” Sharry exploded into
orbit: “You ass…., you rated by price not by pleasure! I give it an honest
125/100 – not a deceitful one star -- the $75 price notwithstanding.”
The “attitude” was in uninhibited exposure now: “You are a black belt
\@#$%^&!*SOB fraud. When it comes to judging wine you don’t know your ass from
your elbow! Show me…where is your ass!?”
I pointed to my elbow.
Sharry, her eyes blazing: “I don’t wish to taste with you any more. I don’t like
our tasting arrangement. I don’t like to play second fiddle to your asinine
comments. It was selfish of you to propose this arrangement!”
I was incredulous: “It was your idea! Jim warned me that you had an attitude
from hell. But don’t lay it on me!”
Sharry: “Did that bozo, Jim, that (expletive deleted here, should five-year-old
children read this column) …that cockamamie Jimbo say that? I’ll kick him where
the sun don’t shine, and with my needle-point shoes and stiletto heals – he’ll
think twice before condemning me for having an ‘attitude!’ ”
I warned Jim not to leave his safe position from behind the pouring table.
With its usual ceremonious grand entrance the hot hors d’oeuvres, held high on
platters, were proudly paraded in from the kitchen, led by be-ribboned Master
Chef Stanley Nicas in tall toque: gingered/honeyed duck rolls, crab cakes topped
with tartar/tomato sauce, and cheese/spinach pitas.
Palateers attacked the food, filled their dishes immediately, leaving empty
platters that were instantly refilled. And I observed Sharry enthusiastically
eating away and smiling broadly.
Bernardus Marinus 1996, $56.49: 70 percent Cabernet Sauvignon, 20 Merlot, 8
Cabernet Franc, 2 Petit Verdot. Nose and flavor like a ripe Margaux with
balanced complexity. 4 stars. I even took a tiny swallow: “Smooth, warm,
lingering. Price quality value 125/100; better than well worth the price.”
Victor Hugo Opulence 1998, $26.49: 45 percent Merlot, 32 Cabernet Franc, 19
Cabernet Sauvignon, 4 Petit Verdot. 4½ stars, excellent to perfection. “Abundant
lively integrated fruit in nose and on palate; still young with noticeable fruit
acidity and firm-to-hard tannins – will improve to become a graceful St. Emiion
Figeac with further aging.” Happily, I own some and shall soon begin to drink
them. Price quality value 135/100. Unless you hate yourself, seek it out.
Jekel Sanctuary 1996, $34.49: 64 percent Cabernet Sauvignon, 27 Merlot, 5
Cabernet Franc, 2 Malbec, 2 Petit Verdot. 4½ stars, a whisper short of 5-star
perfection. “Complex with mature fruit and balanced attributes of ripe fruit,
zesty fruit acids, velvety texture and soft tannins that hug- and persist on the
palate; a combination of power and delicacy.” Price quality value 135/100.
Clos Du Bois Marlstone 1985, $98 if you can find it: 62 percent Cabernet
Sauvignon, 28 Merlot, 7 Cabernet Franc, 3 Malbec. 5 stars perfection. “Very
complex and mature in nose and on palate. All elements morphed into a voluptuous
alien, albeit most pleasant, arresting and lingering flavor; everything here
heavenly except the $100 sock on the pocket.” Price value not rated. Seek it out
but with wary eye and woeful wallet. Ask Jim about it…and suggest you call him
“James.” It might help.
Next tasting: Sunday afternoon, October 15, 3 to 5, Long Island wines, “the
Eastern Napa.” We shall be enjoying a delightful tasting surprise, Jim says.
Phone: 508-892-9090.
Wine pick: Trinchero Family Merlot 2004, $12.79. Stunning
soft wine, loaded with plum/berry flavors; enough balancing fruit acids and soft
tannin for optimum pleasure in about five years; definitely a wine bargain that
belongs on the festive table. The price is a delight to the purse; drinkable
now.
Wine Pick: Three Thieves Pinot Noir Circle K Ranch 2004, $9.99/$10.99 1 Liter
Jug. Blend: mostly Circle K Ranch Pinot Noir and some Syrah. Nose: aromas of red
berries, cherries and violets, which transfer to the palate and mingle with
spice, red cherries, strawberries and creamy vanilla; soft tannins and smooth
structure. Great price quality value.
Email Comments to Julian at:
julian@oxfordwineroom.com