by Julian Schultz
julian@oxfordwineroom.com

                     

Freddie the Flasher is an exhibitionist and a romantic. Sometimes he exhibits too much Freddie and romances too much the ladies fair; consequently, he is whisked away to the pokey. Grandiosely he throws two-handed kisses to bemused onlookers. Despite his flamboyant idiosyncrasies, Freddie has an exceptional knowledge of wine and an equally enviable wine palate.

Freddie in his younger, leaner and more athletic years was a wrestler. He was frequently the champion Gorgo The Gorgonzola's scorned and ridiculed opponent.

It was Freddie he had in mind when he said: "Dis gazook 's a pussy, paintid wid roudge an' lipsticks, who tippytoe aroun' da reen' t'rown' kisses wid his two han's an' dressed sometime in mink, in gold leotar', in tiger skin, in lacey panty, an' in balley dancer tootoos."

Enter serene, composed, fair of skin, modest of eye, svelte of figure, conspicuous of cleavage, Prim Prissy. She sat with Freddie on one side and with me on the other at the Castle Restaurant's March wine tasting. 

Sommelier/maitre d' Jim Nicas had poured 15 Classifed Cru red Bordeaux wines: vintages of 1975, '81 and '83, and reception wine white Grand Cru Chateau Olivier 1995 from Graves.

First flight: Freddie admired Prissy as she deftly held her wineglass by the stem, sighted the 1975 Chateau L'Angelus St. Emilion Grand Cru, gracefully swirled, thoughtfully sniffed, savored with concentration, and spoke: "very mature, somewhat musty nose accented with fermented raspberry; more raspberry flavor on the palate; mature complexity; tasted with the delicate, delicious stuffed quail I embrace it."

Freddie interjected: "Prissy, charming companion, your words are spoken in beauty; as beautiful to moi as the night of cloudless climes and starry skies; and all that's best of wine and food is humbled by your aspect---"

Prissy interrupted: "Oh, Fred, I should appreciate the gallantry and poetry of your remarks, but unfortunately they are lost on me. I am very serious when I taste wine and I concentrate intently to further my vinous education. But tell me, Fred, who is your most admired wine authority, one from whom I might learn?"

"Me, of course! I will extend, sweet Prissy, your knowledge of wine to its outer reaches and impart knowledge of other earthly delights."

Prissy put her hands to her cheeks: "Oh, Fred, you know well the mask of wine is on my face, else would a maiden blush paint my cheeks for what I hear you speak this afternoon." 

Freddy laughed, patted her hand: "The L'Angelus consists of 50-percent Cabernet Franc, 45 Merlot and 5 Cabernet Sauvignon; it was 100-percent new oak-aged 16 months; yes, I detect earthy mustiness; its 30-year-old berry fruit is pleasing with the delicious quail. The quail, by the way, is stuffed with golden raisins, quinoa -- a South American protein grain - turkey sausage, chestnuts, grapes, and is slathered with Madeira sauce. The 1975 was an enigma vintage; the L'Angelus has held up well." 

"Oh, Fred, I am indeed impressed." Prissy coquettishly rolled her baby browns and added titillating shoulder shimmies. 

She turned to me: What did I think? I said we should discuss the magnificent Chateau Olivier 1995, Grand Cru Graves reception wine, comprising 65-percent Semillon, 30 Sauvignon Blanc and 5 Muscadelle.

Freddie clapped his hands, "I wholeheartedly agree! Beautiful golden color, velvety unctuous viscosity; crisp dry lush fruit flavors of citrus, apple and pear envelop the palate and extend their pleasure to the aftertaste."

Prissy gasped and gaped: "Oh, Fred, your stimulating vinous descriptions and informative rhetoric about the Olivier excite me beyond measure. If I were to put myself in your hands, I am positive you would add an unfamiliar dimension to my knowledge and pleasure."

"Indeed I would, my dear, because if I were king, ah Prissy, if I were king, what treasures of wine I would bring to grace your palate and swear allegiance to your lips and nose and eyes. To your palate these treasures I would bring, and you should have the Rothschilds of Mouton and Lafite to taste if I were king. I could not give you any godlier thing...if I were king." With these words, Freddy discarded his tie and unbuttoned and removed his shirt and undershirt.

"Ooooohhhh, Fred! You are completely undoing me...dissolving my firm resolutions of feminine propriety with your poetic infusions to your evaluations of the wine. But why have you removed your ---"

"Prissy, when I bare my pectoral-muscled chest - and you would do well to do likewise -- my words with wine become inspired. One evaluates wine better with fewer clothes."

"Oh dear! You can't suggest that I - oh, I'm sorry, but that is unthinkable. And to disrobe in front of all these people! Heavens to Betsy! Come, let us sip and discuss the next two wines."

Jim rushed over, agitated: "Hey, this isn't a burly-boy, girly-girl strip joint! Freddie knock it off or I'll have Josh, my Castle bouncer, throw you the hell out of here."

"Yeah? Well, let him try to throw me out later when I remove my trousers and display my daffodils-embroidered tight and revealing boxer shorts during the Haut Brion tasting. Remember, I was a professional wrestler."

"Well, Josh is about 8-feet tall and has a mean kick to the groin. You would be speaking in soprano octaves for a week and even Viagra couldn't restore your limpy libido," Jim said grimly.

"Aha, if that be true, then upon reviewing the situation, and on reflective thought, I prudently will abide by your Puritanical prohibitions."

Other wines in the first flight: 1981Chateau Pavie St. Emilion Grand Cru. 
1983 Chateau L'Angelus St. Emilion Grand Cru.

Freddie quickly sighted the Pavie, sniffed, sipped, slowly savored, swallowed and addressed Prissy Prim: "The Pavie is 55-percent Merlot, 25 Cabernet Franc and 20 Cabernet Sauvignon. It was aged 16 months, 50 percent each in new and old oak. Nose is still fresh, flavor remains vinous, and overall it has retained complexity - surprisingly viable at almost age-25 despite its preponderance of fragile Merlot and less of sturdy Cabernet Sauvignon."

Turning to the '83 L'Angelus, Freddie beamed: "What a difference eight years made here. It is blended and vinified the same as the '75, but the complexity of aromas and flavors is superb; there is still vibrant mature fruit on the palate and it swallows velvety; the aftertaste pulsates with in and out flavor nuances; it is an unmitigated delight with the quail."

Prissy asked Freddie, if she unbuttoned only the top three buttons of her blouse would she be able to express herself so perceptively and eloquently?

Freddie said yes, but no: "I don't want us to get the bums' rush out of here by the 8-footer, that expert groin place kicker, like the Patriots' Vinatieri."

Freddie expounded on the St. Julien second flight: "1975 Chateau Beychevelle 4th Growth, 59-percent Cabernet Sauvignon, 30 Merlot, 8 Cabernet Franc, 3 Petit Verdot, 20 months in 40-percent new oak; pleasing mature vinous nose transfers to the palate with acceptable fruit, somewhat thin but flavor pleasing. 

"The 1981 and '83 Chateau Ducru Beaucaillou 2nd Growths, 65-percent Cabernet Sauvignon, 25 Merlot, 10 Cabernet Franc, 20 months in 50-percent new oak; soft, mature, plums and barnyard in nose and palate; fine wines."

Prissy inquired and Freddie explained the classified growth delineation: "In 1855, a jury of Bordeaux wine traders, based on wines merit, popularity, sales and selling prices, classified Bordeaux' outstanding red wines (clarets) into five growths - 61 wines were chosen and classified, from one (Grand Crus) to five (Fifth Growths). 

In 1953, the leading red wines of Graves were officially classified. In 1955, official classification was made of St. Emilion clarets. 

In 1962, Alexis Lichine suggested a new classification. The wines we tasted at the Castle that would fall into Lichine's classification - there are many others we didn't taste -- are as follows:

From Medoc/Graves: Outstanding Growths Haut Brion; Exceptional Growths Beychevelle, Ducru-Beaucaillou, Pichon Longueville Comtesse, Rausan Segla; Great Growths Rausan Gassies); Superior Growths; Good Growths. 

From St. Emilion: Pavie, 1st Great Growth; L'Angelus, Great Growth.

Prissy noted that I sniffed, savored and spit my wines into a container; she asked why?

I said, "If I consume a small amount of wine, I will sing like a lark - only I have an off-key voice; if I imbibe deeper, I will gain the courage of a lion - only I am not brave like a gladiator; if I drink beyond my capacity, I would be stupid like an ass...like a horse's ass - and I refuse to be judged so. That is why I sip, savor, never swallow, but spit." 

Prissy high-fived me with exultation: "I have the voice of a lark, is that why I sip and swallow moderately small amounts of wine?"

She asked Freddie into which category did he fall? He grimaced: "Well, I like to think I'm not stupid and I hope not a horse's ass."

Freddie launched into a discussion of the third flight Margaux, 2nd Growth wines. "Wine composition of the 1975 Chateau Raussan Gassies, 40-percent-Cabernet Sauvignon, 39 Merlot, 20 Cabernet Franc, 1 Petit Verdot, 17 months in 20-percent new oak; nose has nondescript vinosity, but intriguing undecipherable perfume. Still shows complexity; aftertaste is short; the Grande Dame is expiring, we should send it heavenward now by drinking it.

"The '81 and '83 Chateau Raussan Segla, 65-percent Cabernet Sauvignon, 30 Merlot, 5 Caberent Franc, 20 months in 50-percent new oak; still posses assertive fruit, well blended into complexity; smooth on the palate; nice, despite acidity and fading tannin. A drink-up-nower.

"I'm surprised these old Margaux' have held up so well. Of all the Medoc wines, this region is considered 'feminine' and its wines do not age as well as the St. Estephe and Pauillacs'.

"But sipping these wines with the tender, tasty, meaty, giant veal chop these wines come alive and deliciously complement the food. And Prissy and Julian, note the veal's accompanying spinach timbale, asparagus, carrots, vegetable orzo, balsamic caramelized onions, and mushroom Bordelaise sauce of red wine reduction. A gastronomic masterpiece!"

Prissy, almost tearfully: "Oh sweet Fred, how can I express my gratitude to you for enlightening me about food and wine interaction?"

"Prissy, my lovely heartthrob...just a book of poetry under a bough, a bottle of '83 Margaux, a stick of crusty baguettes, and you beside me -- a lark singing in the woodlands --- that, my pretty Prissy, would be Paradise enow."

"Before I soon away, dear Fred, let us taste the 2nd Growth Pichon Languevilles of Comtessse de Lalande. Tell me about them, dear romantic Fred, whom I have come to regard as a bosom - dare I say that? -- friend."

"These, my beloved Prissy, have always been among the superb wines of Pauillac, classy with finesse and elegance and yet masculine virility. The 1975s, '8ls and '83s are vinified alike: 75-percent Cabernet Sauvignon, 24 Merlot, 1 Malbec; aged 18 months in new oak. Some browning color and fruit flavors are beginning to fade in the '75, but the '81 and '83 offer a pronounced complex bouquet and good fruit on the palate; eminently drinkable - even more so with oven-hot crusty rolls and the veal. But I would drink now any that I own."

Freddie excused himself and left the table before tasting 1st Growth Chateau Haut Brions from Graves. He returned a few minutes later, his trousers neatly folded, clad in his daffodils-embroidered skimpy revealing boxer briefs. "Now I'm ready to enjoy the greatest wines among the great, the Haut Brions!"

Jim called, "Josh! Now..ow..ow!!" Josh came running. "Josh, like I told you, kick him hard where the sun doesn't shine, so he will sound like the great Greek
Opera diva, Maria Callas!" 

Freddie flexed his huge well-toned biceps, shimmied his rock-hard pectorals and growled menacingly at Josh: "I was a wrestler; you'll suffer my patented body slam!"

"The hell I will!" Josh shouted to Jim, "I'm hauling ass outta here and will wait on tables!"

Jim, muttering, told Freddie to sit close to the table so his skimpy attire would not be visible.

Jim was called to the phone; Freddie leaped up from his chair. Gasps and giggles from the girls; boisterous "bravos!" from the boys. Freddie addressed the 30 guests: "These three 1st Growth Graves Haut Brions, as were the Comtesses, were vinified with the same consistency: 55-percent Cabernet Sauvignon, 25 Merlot, 20 Cabernet Franc. All were aged some two years in new oak and leached maximum wood, tannin and complex wood flavors into the wine.

"Now, these Haut Brions-------"

Jim had returned and pushed Freddie back into the chair: "I'll call the police, and the Leicester hoosegow is no Ritz-Carlton. So keep your butt glued to your chair." The 30 guests unanimously booed Jim.

Freddie jumped up again. Jim dashed from the room. A few minutes later a siren whirred in the parking lot. Freddy, trouserless, was escorted to the cruiser throwing two-handed kisses. Prissy threw her unfinished hot roll at Jim. Evangeline, Jim's sister, gave Prissy directions to the Leicester Bastille. Prissy turned to me for my evaluation of the Haut Brions.

"These are admirable wines and, expectedly, have retained their vigor." I said. "True, the '75 vintage was 'iffy,' but it is a good 'library' reference wine for Haut Brion; its flavor and appeal are withering, but would be acceptable to British palateers. 

"The '81, rated 86 - good to very good -- is courageously maintaining its strength; its discernable fruit is blended into interesting and drinkable complexity. Fine now, but drink up.

"The 88-rated '83 vintage - very good - is most pleasing with a fine complex bouquet, offers aristocratic and delicious complex fruit flavors, has elegance and quality, is full-bodied; is nearing the end of its plateau of optimum drinkability."

Prissy murmuring that that I lacked Freddie's romantic poetic expression kissed my cheek and hurried off.

In many ways, more than just sipping them, Jim's golden oldies pleased me immensely as they did the other tasters. Prissy please come again!

Wine Pick: Clos du Val Cabernet Sauvignon 2002, $28, blended with 7-percent Cabernet Franc. Nose: currants, toast, plums transfer to palate; full-bodied, balanced, long aftertaste. Superb wine, well worth the price.

Wine Pick: Trinchero Lewelling Cabernet Sauvignon Reserve 2001, $45. Nose: blackberry, currants, black cherry, herbs, mineral; palate: medium-body, supple tannin, black and red fruits, vanilla, mocha; a keeper for greater complexity.

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