by Julian Schultz
julian@oxfordwineroom.com
My heart leaped up when I beheld the bevy of buxom beauties at the Castle
Restaurant, some lolling at the hors d’oeuvres table that was sumptuously
laden with fruit and cheese varieties; others sighting, swirling, sniffing,
savoring and speaking about the wines as they munched on the 11 passed hot
d’oeuvres; yet others of the 167 attendees moved quickly and confidently to
the five pouring stations, comprising 32 premium wines.
Although not a horse person, I congratulated myself that Karin Orsi had
convinced me to lend journalist support to the event-sponsoring BSER’s (Bay
State Equine Rescue, Inc.) compassionate cause of rescuing and rehabilitating
abused, sick, and endangered horses. More about this worthy organization later.
Now, please…high-minded moralists who may be imprisoned by your
exaggerated sense of propriety, don’t read into this anecdote anything
intended as leering prurience: I am repeating what I had read about Winston
Churchill’s chivalrously protesting an England’s Parliament male chauvinist
member, who said in disparagement of women and in superiority of men:
“Colleagues…Down with the petticoats! Up with the pants!”
Churchill
wittily is to have said, “No! Indeed, Sir! No!…Hear! Hear! My esteemed
colleagues: Better it were… ‘Up…with
the petticoats! And down…with the pants!’ ”
Over the years I have contended and written that women who are serious
about wine are better tasters than men (and present company is not excluded).
Yes, I have received a share of bouquets from the fairer sex and brickbats from
infuriated males.
So with uncustomary courage, I repeat: Women serious about wine are
superior to men with the sniff and savor stuff! Their palates are more
discriminating. Amen! They formulate and articulate their opinions faster and
more coherently in their wine evaluations. Amen! They identify aromas and
flavors more accurately than men. Amen! Is that perhaps because happily they
toil seductively barefoot in the kitchen? Because gleefully their sing
un-melodious rasping German lieder while furiously rattling pots and pans
as they fling savory herbs and esoteric spices at their food preparations…just
to please their almighty lords and masters of the manor.
At the five wine stations, where I sat
behind the tables and made my tasting notes, I ignored the men and concentrated
on the titillating women. We exchanged my trivial dull evaluations of the wines
for their colorful insightful perceptions and judgments…ah, so stimulating and
delightful the femininity!
Be assured, this tasting was no bacchanalia, despite the 32 wines.
Sexually aroused satyrs weren’t chasing sensual seductive nymphs into the
Castle’s secret hank-panky-playing back rooms. Vine-wreathed female
voluptuaries weren’t dancing riotously, flinging rose petals at glassy-eyed
besotted males. As always, decorum and common sense at he Castle prevailed
throughout the three-hour tasting.
So I urge fair-minded wine tasters everywhere…in wine tasting let’s
hear it for the females fair: “Up for the petticoats!” And scorn for the
men: “Down with the pants!”
Wine
distributor reps held our attention with interesting facts about their wines as
they poured at their wine stations. Wisely, they limited us to half-ounce
measures. Many of us spat our well-savored wines and emptied any excess wines
that remained in our glasses into dump buckets at each location.
Jim Nicas, Castle maitre d’/sommelier, who oversaw the event, provided me with a wide-mouth metal spittoon. I am a “dry” swallower: No wine goes down my throat; I bath my palate with the wine, move it to the front of my mouth, retain it there, and swallow…dry. I repeat the procedure; then I spit the wine into my spittoon and swallow again…dry.
About 90 percent of what we taste is derived from smell through
the nose and retro-nasal passages. By my having slowly and deeply sniffed the
wines, swallowing wasn’t particularly important. I must admit, however, I had
to exceed my vaunted willpower of steel to refrain from sneaking into my throat
a miniscule swallow of many of these remarkable wines.
If I were to list every wine that pleased, I would show all 32. There was
not a clunker among them. I rated them as “Stars light,” “Stars Bright”
and “Stars of the Night.” At each station I had hoped to select two “Stars
of the Night” wines that were also of price and quality value. Now…I am
approaching an overripe 89 creaky years and I have a wine cellar that will be
there when I am sipping with the angels (or maybe with the devils). Nonetheless,
I bought…28 wines…this afternoon. I could not resist these wines and their
prices.
Rather
than describe the nose and palate impressions of these wines, let me emphasize
all offered big, lush fruit; were perfectly balanced with lively fruit acids,
swallowed smoothly, and lingered long in the farewell. Notwithstanding the
conformity to these basic and necessary positive elements, the flavors inherent
in the individual wines were excitingly varied because of wine growing and wine
making practices among the winemakers, as well the geographies (soil, climate;
also, age of vines, sun exposure, etc.) of wine producing regions.
All
prices shown reflect 20-percent discount at Wendy Leo’s Mass. Liquors on
Chandler St., near June, on orders placed this afternoon. Even at Wendy’s
regular prices these wines deserve to grace your palate.
Station 1: M.S. Walker Fine Wines, Jeff Ghertler. Stars of the Night:
Villa Maria Sauvignon Blanc 2003, New Zealand, $10.49; Yalumba “Y” Series
Viognier 2003, Australia, $7.99!!!; Yalumba “Y” Chardonnay 2003, Australia,
$7.99!!!; Nautilus Pinot Noir 2001, New Zealand, $16.19; Yolumba “Y” Shiraz
2002, $7.99!!!
Station 2: Ruby Wines, represented by the Castle’s Grigor Nikas,
recently honors-graduated from Castle’s bus boy. Stars of the Night: Tohu
Sauvignon Blanc 2002, New Zealand, $11.99; Graham Beck Sauvignon Blanc, South
Africa, $7.99!!!; Graham Beck “Railroad Red,” 60-percent Shiraz/40 Cabernet
Sauvignon, South Africa, $7.99!!!; Graham Beck Pinno (actually a Pinotage, a
blend of Pinot Noir and Cinsault), multiple vintages blend, South Africa,
$7.99!!!
Well, hello! Boyhood Granite Street area friend, “Schnaapsy”
Sashawitz, his arm protectively encircled around the waspy-thin-waisted, waspy-sharp-tongued
Bonbon LaBelle, greeted me. He introduced us.
I am pleased that I hadn’t grimaced my distaste, or if I did it wasn’t noticed. I had suffered the displeasure of having met Bonbon at a Castle tasting some years back.
“Delighted,” I said. (“Liar, Julian!” I thought. “She’s a
broomsticked witch.”)
“How nice to see you again,” is what she said. (She probably
thought, “Liar, Bonbon! He shouldn’t even think I mean it.”)
We probably remembered how she was responsible for my being reproved by
Jim Nicas and, as a consequence, suffered an unwelcomed pinch in her nether area
from me.
That story: Jim Nicas expects devout devotion to his words when we meet
each month on a Sunday afternoon to taste 20-30 or more wines. The one time I
was diverted, I suffered his displeasure.
She introduced herself: “I’m Bonbon LaBelle; it’s my first time
here,” she said, shimmying and shaking her shoulders and thrusting upward the
twin doves of her bountiful bosom.
“Shhh,” I whispered. “Listen to Jim. You’ll learn something.”
Bonbon, frowning: “I don’t enjoy listening to someone drone on about
wine all afternoon. It’s fun when we all socialize and discuss the wines with
one another.”
“Shhh,” I whispered again. “You’ll disturb the solemnity of these
consecrated tasters who are concentrating on Jim’s remarks.”
Ignoring me: “Isn’t this Montevina Sierra Foothills Zinfandel
delicious with its layered varieties of fruit, like sweet cherries,
strawberries, cranberries? And there’s spices complexity and balancing black
pepper.”
“Shhh!” I protested.
“It’s got unctuous viscosity, youthful precocity, exquisite balance
and a lingering kiss of forever farewell,” she continued.
“Shhh!!” I couldn’t conceal my annoyance.
“A body like Nicole Kidman’s – fleshy up front, a svelte middle,
round soft finish.” Alas! I was plagued with a compulsive kibitzer.
“Pa…lease, Bonbon!!!” I pleaded. “You’re disturbing the decorum
of the tasting.”
“Decorum, deshmorum! Who are you?! A Mr. Manners or something?”
Uncharacteristic of Jim, he issued a reprimand: “Julian, please stop
mumbling over there. You ought to know better!”
What do I do? Priding myself a gentleman, I couldn’t point – or give
– Bonbon the finger, yet I dared not risk Jim’s further disapproval.
So I pinched her in her soft round nether area.
“Sir! How dare you!” With an in-your-face flounce of her hips she
strode to a seat beside Webster’s beaming Don Raymond, who rose and with
gallant thespian flourish pulled out a chair for her. She was quiet thereafter.
Returning to the present afternoon’s tasting: Remembering that
encounter of a few years ago, I hoped there would be no repeat of her behavior.
Bonbon, expressing loudly her perceptions of the wines, began to
interfere with the comments made by the station pourers.
Schnaapsy squared her up, his eyes piercing her with laser beam
directness, “Bonbon, zip…it…up! No one gives a rat’s ass, other than
yourself, of your opinions!”
“Ya…ya…yes, Schnaapsy dear.”
Station 3. Horizon Beverage. Dave Sabastienella. Star of the Night (in
this planet or beyond the firmament) Lincourt Chardonnay 2000, California,
$12.79…wow what a wine! Other Stars of the Night: Robert Mondavi Fumé Blanc
2001, California, $15.59; Lange Pinot Gris 2002, Oregon, $10.39, rating between
Star Bright and Star of the Night.
Station 4. Classic Wines. Antonella Cordella. Stars of the Night: St.
Michael-Eppan Pinot Bianco 2002, Italy, $9.99!! Villa Caffagio Chianti 2001,
Italy, $14.39; Bodega Lurton Pinot Gris 2003, Argentina -- don’t faint away on
me yet -- $4.79!!!!!!! Did I buy it? I mean, did I buy it? Did I ever!
Station 5. Hardwick Vineyard and Winery. Audrey Samek and her lovely
daughter, Jennifer. Stars of the Night: There were four; I bought three of them.
I was ready now for the light, sweet-edged, conspicuous-fruited, exquisitely
balanced, lively wine with zesty fruit acids that playfully teased my palate. So
go forth to romanticize the good life at Hardwick’s countrified vineyards and
buy the wines, each at $10, all bargains.
Hardwick’s Stars of the Night: Yankee Boy Semi-Dry White – I bought
two; Yankee Girl Blush; Massetts Grape and Cranberry.
I’ve been involved with wine for 51 years, since the days when Sweet
Life Foods were also wine, beer, and spirits distributors in conjunction with
our selling foods to supermarkets and to institutions: I have never attended a
wine event of this nature that was so extraordinary.
The
hard work entailed to organize such an undertaking and shepherd it to so
overwhelmingly a successful fruition required total devotion and dedication to a
beloved cause of compassion, the BSER cause. More later.
This
afternoon saw many Castle first-timers who seemed goggle-eyed in awe as the
merits of the wines were patiently explained, and by cadre of six Castle
waitstaff who were at our elbows with unlimited hot hors d’oeuvres varieties.
The
hors d’oeuvrers: rolled sirloin of beef with spinach, leeks, celery, carrots;
chicken
and rice pita triangles; spinach pies; mussels casino; beef sauteed in Thai
peanut sauce and spices; chicken (same Thai preparation as with the beef);
(hanky) panko of Japanese bread crumbs with fried mushrooms; teriyaki of green
beans; chicken kabobs; vegetables consort of pea pods, red peppers, cauliflower;
coconut encrusted asparagus; cheese and fruit table: Tobias blue, Muenster,
Cheddar cheeses; giant ripe strawberries, red and green grapes, sliced pears,
oranges; crackers variety, toasted rounds, Hardwick Winery tiny wine crackers.
Those
of us here, who will be at the Castle Central European wines tasting next Sunday
afternoon, the 28, from 3 to 5…to 5:30, invite new comers to join us. You’ll
learn more about wine in this “tasting field”, and you will have delectable
hors d’oeuvres to enjoy. Better this way to learn than trying 7with your nose
in a wine book with no wine to sip and swallow and no food to match.
I
overheard two women speaking about the reputation of elegance attached to the
Castle and that what they were seeing was elegance in comfortable informality,
the lack of pretentiousness, which so charmed them. I expect to see them next
Sunday.
About Bay State Equine Rescue, Inc.: BSER’s mission: to provide
shelter, feed and rehabilitation for abused, neglected, unwanted or
slaughter-bound horses. Goal: to restore and maintain the health of these horses
and to place them in caring, responsible homes; to educate the public on how to
care for horses and the commitment involved…with the hope of ending or
reducing abuse and neglect.
BSER needs all types of services, supplies, talents and equipment. You
are invited to join volunteers – over 20 now -- and donations are needed and
welcomed. Lean more about this commendable endeavor by logging onto website
www.baystateequinerescue.com
Kudos to committee members, especially Karin Orsi, and to Ben Houston and
Tara Hogan. And we are told this event could not have been possible were it not
for the generous support of Castle’s Jim Nicas and Mass. Liquors Wendy Leo.
Wendy informs that she will obtain the wines ordered by the tasters.
Pianist Greg Marterios and 13 raffle prizes contributed to the exciting
diversity of the event. Great intelligent planning and professional execution
all around: Congratulations Karin, Castle and Mass. Liquors…and neighboring
Hardwick Vineyard and Winery with sweet Audrey and Jennifer.
Wine Pick: Full Moon Red Table Wine multi-vintage, $10.99, a blend of
zinfandel, merlot, cabernet sauvignon and cabernet franc. Loads of fruit,
complexity and spice…and price make this a “must” buy. Wine shops reported
selling out their initial purchases. So seek ye now or ye may seek no more.
Email Comments to Julian at:
julian@oxfordwineroom.com