by Julian Schultz
julian@oxfordwineroom.com
I had arrived on time to an already crowded Webster House where 55 trenchermen and trencher women were gathered around the 12 reception wines and varieties of crackers and cheese. M.S. Walker's wine distributor rep, Jeff Ghertler, in a tight corner, his non-stop arm pumping, was pouring miniscule portions of the wines we were to sample.
Because of the pushing and shoving, I couldn't stay nearly close enough to Jeff to get more than a single paltry pour of David Bruce Petite Syrah. It was superb, and I congratulated myself for having had the foresight to buy some for my wine cellar where only two bottles remain.
I overheard some early-come tasters, who had sipped all or nearly all the 12 wines, say that the David Bruce Petite Syrah, J.J. Vincent Pouilly Fuisse, Seventh Moon Merlot, Barossa Valley Estate "Spires" Estate Shiraz, and the Ray's Station Cabernet Sauvignon were their particular favorites.
I did not hear a single negative comment about the other wines: Rotari Brut "Arte Lataliano, Quady Electra, Kanu Chenin Blanc, Yalumba "Y" Riesling, Santi Sortesele Pinot Grigio, and Cambria Pinot Noir.
I would like to have had the opportunity to taste Grahams 1998 Late Bottle Vintage "Pork," as the menu read. But I disdained to taste it. Readers of my columns know that I rudely, vehemently, forgo pork and the evil bulb, garlic.
As I waited impatiently - joining others in a bit of pushing and shoving - to get to Jeff, I heard a pained voice behind me, wailing "Oi Vey!" (Oi Vey, a Yiddish expression, means something like, "This is awful what's happening to me.")
I turned and saw a tall, heavy set, long-bearded man dressed completely in black and wearing a skullcap. He reminded me of a great, great grandfather, maybe five times removed, from Central Europe - perhaps like a Tevye of Fiddler on the Roof. His aspect was that of a Holy Man; so I stepped aside to permit him go before me. As he passed, he smiled at me and said in a cultured voice, "I thank you, sir. You are most considerate."
Surprised, I answered that he looked like he had stepped out of the 16th century Poland or Lithuania, and like an anachronism here.
"Out of the 1985 class at Dartmouth College," he responded with a laugh as he extended his arm in handshake. He said his name was Mendel, after I had introduced myself.
After he had obtained his miniscule pour from Jeff, he sipped the wine and ate of the cheese varieties, concentrating on their compatibility. "Not at all antithetical," he said, smiling and nodding and eating.
"So what are you doing here - at a wine tasting and wine dinner?" I asked, adding that his appearance -- his dress, his speech -- was paradoxical; that he certainly must have discerned his presence was atypical.
He threw his head back and laughed: "I am the Grand Shamus of the Oi Vey Wine Club. We were formed four years ago in San Diego at Yeshiva Bochers University (orthodox religious school) when I was doing my doctoral research on the roots of our Hebrew culture. We have been spreading eastward.
"We are thoroughly trained oenophiles, accomplished chefs, and experienced gourmets. If we dislike a wine or a wine and food pairing or a food course -- and to get attention, which is critically important to our cause -- we shout only the words "Oi Vey!," nothing else. When, hopefully, we are asked to explain, we try to communicate the shortcomings of the wine or the wine with food or the food preparation. This unique mystique of our approach has intrigued hundreds of wine enthusiasts and has helped our association to expand."
"So why are you here? This is the Golden Greek Chris Liazos' Greek restaurant wine dinner with wines that are available at the Irish Greek Jim O'Hara Vasiliadis' Discount Liquors?"
"Oh, this dinner was well publicized on the Oxford Wine Room website," he answered. "So I thought perhaps I could proselytize for new members here. I have even a pretty female wine aficionado over there," he said, pointing to a devastatingly beautiful tall, willowy, dark-complected, dark-eyed, high cheek-boned young woman in a long black, multi-colored beaded dress that exquisitely fitted her nicely-proportioned figure. "She will canvass women, who show interest, to become members of our club."
"I see what you mean," I said as I studied the young woman with awed esthetic admiration. "Well, were I inclined to join your membership, I would do so only if she were to appropriately canvass me ...and to spend considerable time with me acquainting me with the ins and outs peculiar to her proposition."
"Your statement has a dubious connotation," he said slightly frowning. "Oh well, masculine testosterone is ever prevalent whether at 19 or 90. Shall we find seats...but without Zushka," he said pointing to her? "Sorry to disappoint you," he said with a mischievous chuckle.
We found a table close to Dr. Bob Ouellette and his wife Lu. Bob looked perplexed as he regarded the appearance of Mendel. Later, he told me that we looked like the Odd Couple, only odder.
As we studied the menu, I murmured to Mendel that I was certain he would find nothing to oi vey about. I said some people and I had tasted the wines and the food at the trial dinner, and after we corrected inconsistencies they were delicious with each other and when taken separately. He would be enthused with the entire dinner.
"Don't count your chickens until they cross over the bridge," he said, shaking his index finger almost into my eyes.
"Hey, you are mixing your metaphor, I said in correction: 'until they hatch' is correct Mendel, not 'until they cross over the bridge.' Didn't your prestigious Ivy League college alma mater teach you not to mix metaphors?"
"Mixing metaphors is a hobby that I enjoy doing, for example: - 'He doesn't know whether he's on horse or footback' and 'Cast your bread upon the waters and the fish will eat it.' Surprisingly, most people are unaware of this or they just don't comment."
After pleading with him - please not to shout too loud if he is so constrained, we started to spoon the Harvest Pumpkin Soup that was blended with a variety of fresh herbs and cream. We smiled at each other and nodded - fine. No oi vey; no oi gevalt, which is worse, more painful.
Then the Hugel Gentil Alsatian white wine 2003, ($7.99 at O'Hara's discounted price, as were all wines poured at this dinner) was served. I announced smugly that for my palate the wine - good as it was when sipped by itself -- was incompatible with the soup: The acidity and perfume-y/aromatic flavors in the wine negatively influenced the delicate unique pumpkin/herb taste of the soup, which needed no augmentation - "If it ain't broke, don't fix it," I said, smugly.
The Hugel Gentil, a blend of Gewurztraminer, Riesling, Sylvaner, Pinot Gris and Muscat, with fish or seafood would be a perfect match. Mendel patted my shoulder in agreement. Notes on the wine: "perfume-y, aromatic, grape-y, crisp, zesty, refreshing. Big bargain priced."
Mendel opened his mouth, about to protest the matchup with an oi vey, when the lilting mellifluous voice of Zushka resounded throughout the filled function room. Her oi vey sounded like a Maria Callas grand opera aria to me. Everyone stopped eating and ogled Zushka. The waitstaff stopped serving to admire her and listen to her explanation. She repeated much of what Mendel and I had perceived. I suggested again to Mendel to have her join us. No luck.
Nocolas Potel Bourgogne Rouge 2002, $15.99, 100 percent Pinot Noir by law, correctly preceded the glazed Salmon Fillet with fresh tomato and basil on a baked rice cake. The salmon, made from Lu Ouellette's original recipe, had the room murmuring its pleasure. The Bourgogne, very much reminiscent of a cru classé Volnay, and considerably lower-priced, paired perfectly with the salmon. Notes: "rich, ripe, mouthful of dark fruits; lingering plum palate flavors balanced with soft tannins and fruit acids; smooth swallow, moderately long aftertaste. A bargain at $15.99."
No oi veys, although I looked hard at Zushka - not to listen for an oi vey, but just to gaze...only to gaze...and to remember wistfully a beauty once mine, once mine...and recalling the last lines of her favorite poem: "For thy sweet love remembered, such wealth brings that I scorn to change my state with kings." Her favorite Shakespeare sonnet, number 29, which I frequently quoted in its entirety, always pleased her.
I went to Zushka's table. After we spoke awhile, she extended the back of her hand. I bent over and with my customary cavalier élan (I fantasize a lot) I kissed it.
When I returned to our table, Mendel quizzically asked - what was I telling her that induced her to offer her hand?
I said I told her that: "She walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies; and all that's best of dark and bright meet in her aspect and her eyes --------"
Mendel interjected: "Thus (she is) mellowed to that tender light which heaven to gaudy day denies." Mendel complimented me for appreciating Lord Byron's poem from his Hebrew Melodies.
I quieted Mendel when he was about to oi vey the oysters in the Chicken Alexander: chicken breast stuffed with fresh oysters and spinach, wrapped with pastry and served with a creamy sauce of fish stock and lemon. Its delicate, delightful deliciousness dictated that we give kudos to the kitchen: for the unusual and outstanding savory, tender breast and the stuffing and sauce.
Mendel's problem was with the oysters. Shellfish is forbidden in the Hebrew tradition, but most of us ignore it by rationalizing that scavenger foods, with today's applied food technology, are now totally safe; they were prohibited about 5000 years ago. He sighed with relief and caught Zushka's eyes; he rounded his thumb and forefinger to indicate the chicken was OK to eat.
"All right, Julian, the sin is on you, not on me! Remember that in your prayers." And Mendel ate away, his eyes-rolling with delight and sipped on Olivier Laflaive Rully 1er Cru '03, $14.39, 100 percent Chardonnay. Notes: "variety of subtle aromas and tastes from hazelnuts to violets; firm structured, good balancing acidity and soft tannin; delightful continued sipping. I'll ask for a refill. Another big bargain Burgundy."
And came now Jaboulet Beaumes de Venise from the Cotes du Rhone '03, $11.99, 75 percent Grenache and 25 Syrah; and Melini La Selvanella Chianti Classico Riserva '99, $17.59, 100 percent Sangiovese...
...and - hallelujah -- the most tender, savory, delectable cut of Tenderloin of Beef that I have ever eaten. Its cut-with-fork, melt-in-mouth, pecan crusted roasted preparation, with a tantalizing reduction sauce, green and yellow stringbeans and sweet potato popover, elicited enthusiastic laudatory comments throughout the room.
Having eaten to the point of halt, refrain, desist, gluttonize no further -- and remembering only all too well my recent wine dinner near-fatal, almost 911-called, indiscretion, I would have thrown all caution from my mind and eagerly consumed an equal portion of seconds - maybe thirds - were they offered. They weren't, and I was too timid about asking. So...what if I got another spicy lecture from the good Dr. Bob? I think I've tolerated all he has in his arsenal.
Zushka came to our table and addressed Mendel, her lovely face creased with grave concern: "Has the meat been koshered?"
Mendel causally replied after he had slowly relished, finished and swallowed his mouthful, "If it hasn't been, I'll have Julian kosher it now." He turned questioning to me. With pious mien, I said some words in gibberish Yiddish, the meaning of which I had not the remotest comprehension.
Zushka smiled at me and kissed my cheek; she hurried away before I could ask for seconds --- maybe thirds - this time on the lips.
Notes on the Beaumes de Venise: "ripe, intense red and black fruits of blackberry and cherry with hints of spice and chocolate in nose and on palate; opens with zesty, but not sharp acidity, has soft supple tannin; long, warm finish with hints of jam and licorice; long aftertaste." At this $11.99 price for the wine's quality, O'Hara's inventory will soon be depleted.
Notes on the Chianti Classico Riserva: "nose layered with violets, cloves, vanilla, spices, and jam transfer to the palate and augment toasted almonds and wild berries; leaves with a warm, dry, full taste, smooth swallow, long aftertaste. A super wine!"
Dessert. Darling of delicious desserts, ever varied and imaginative, Helena Liazos, Chris' inspiration and partner, thrilled our taste buds with another extraordinary dinner ending delight: Fresh Apple Strudel with Cranberry Puree and Vanilla Ice Cream. Oh, was that ever good!
Adding to my good luck, Mendel and Zuska gave me their ice cream. They adhere to the prohibition of Jews from eating dairy food with meat or immediately after they have consumed meat. They didn't ask for my dispensation...thankfully. I don't need my rabbi saying a prayer for me, asking that I be forgiven.
Mendel and Zushka bade me goodbye, said they well understood why they made no converts this night but that they had had a most enjoyable evening.
Next wine dinner: Dr. Bob's annual Game Dinner, Wednesday, January 19, 6 p.m. Last year was a standout, sellout, magnificent. Reserve: 508-757-7208.
Wine Pick: Full Moon Red Table Wine, a complex blend of zinfandel, merlot, cabernet sauvignon and cabernet franc, a blend of multi-vintages, a super bargain at about $10.99. Enjoy a nose and mouthful of varied fruits and spices that linger long on the palate, finish smoothly in the swallow, and slowly leave in the aftertaste. Seek it out to grace your holiday table and to please your purse.
Email Comments to Julian at:
julian@oxfordwineroom.com