Three Curvaceous B's and One Barbeque

by Julian Schultz
julian@oxfordwineroom.com

                     

“Juliano, we’re baaack!” A chorus of females, comprising soprano, contralto and baritone, sang out their greeting at this month’s Webster House Restaurant’s barbequing-and-grilling wine dinner.

Humm…something strangely familiar about them. Who were they? I looked around…seeking them through the some fifty wine-sipping, hors d’oeuvres-munching palateers.

Of course! Boopsies in white, Bubbles in red and Boobsies in blue! I had met them many years ago at a Boston fundraising formal dinner. We shared the same table -- animated and lively repartee livened the evening, despite their oft annoying giggling.

I remember my being surprised at dinner’s end when a chauffeur, resplendent in dashing military uniform and highly polished leather boots, grandly flourished them into- and away in a stretch limousine; its door read, “The Three Honey B’s Who Don’t Sting.”

I approached them – each a saucy, eye-riveting, curvaceous beauty, buxomly and prominently fore-and-afted in the proper places. Once again I was the cavalier romantic Julian, unable – unwilling -- to resist irresistible femininity: I bestowed my most coveted kiss and squeeze upon each of them, which were returned with such intense ardor that my knees began clicking like castanets in the opera Carmen.

They reminded me that I had written a wine column about that Boston dinner, which they found “very funny” and “imaginatively fancied.”

I said their presence provoked my fertile imagination and that I would be writing another column – hopefully – as entertaining.

The dinner: Reception Course of toasted, crisp baguettes with tomato, feta cheese, herbs was exquisitely paired with Celestine Blondeau Sancerre white Loire wine 2005, $15.99; price value rated (PVR) 125/100.

Made from the Sauvignon Blanc grape, this Sancerre offers a strong varietal character: herbaceous and dry of flavor, pungent and rich of aroma, they blended nicely with the varied baguette flavors. Sancerre’s, however, are not stereotyped: they may vary from very dry to immensely sweet as dictated by the winemaker.

All wine listed reflect O’Hara’s Discount Liquors, 20-percent discount price. I bought an assorted case of the wines.

Although the three B ladies avidly sipped and ate away, they giggled non-stop as they studied most of us solemnly performing the accepted wine drinking ritual: concentrated sighting, concentrated swirling, frowned sipping, frowned savoring, beamed swallowing, beamed speaking about the Sancerre.

Professor Yishka Pishky, faculty member of the Russian Institute of Oenology, presently at Clark University to research grape growing geography, addressed the three B’s with consternation: “What is it with your incessant giggling, ladies? Are you here to evaluate wine and food seriously…or whatsky?

“Is your giggling related to something funny here or is it a carry over from something you brought in from the cold. In my country, your unseemly behavior could land you in Siberia where you would freeze your tushkys off.”

Boobsies struggled to control herself. “Oh yes, he warned us about what we are seeing here: solemn, stone-faced, dour men sniffing their wines with noses so deep into their glasses that their ears look like flapping airplane wings. We were told that we would see men sipping, snorting, gurgling, gargling and grunting with the wine; frowning with furrowed brows and grimacing grimy because they couldn’t fathom what the wine smelled and tasted like. And then…and then they would repeat the whole silly procedure! And he was right!”

Boobsies, hilarious now, wiped her eyes: “I’m sorry, but it looks all so stupid! I find it ridiculous to witness grown men acting like…like nut cakes!” Boopsies and Bubbles fell over each other, thumping the table and laughing uncontrollably.

Replied the impatient professor, annoyed, “And who would have told you all that, if I may be so bold as to ask?”

In unison, pointing to me, “He did!”

The professor: “Harrumph! It figures -- a troubletsky man! Better to keep your eyes on me, listen to my comments and remember what I say:

“Sauvignon Blanc, or Fumé Blanc (which translated from French means ‘white smoke’), is so named for four reasons:
the smoky character sometimes present in the wine;
a barrel flavor that comes from the charring of the oak barrels;
a dusty bloom that develops on the grapes;
and an autumn mist that rolls over the vineyards in France.”

He turned to me, shaking his head in exasperation: “In your old age you are acting like you are in second childhood.”

I retorted that Shakespeare said it better: “Last scene of all, that ends this strange eventful history, is second childishness and mere (total) oblivion, sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste (I always add), sans sound, sans mobility, sans memory, sans hope and finally sans…everything.”

Bubbles: “Oh, that completes the ‘Seven Ages of Man’ quotation that begins, ‘All world’s a stage.’ It’s from As You Like It.”

The professor threw his hands up in frustration: “What are we here for? To hear Shakespeare or to enjoy great food and wine?”

Second course at the dinner: bow-tie pasta with shredded zucchini, yogurt, Parmigiano and Romano cheeses. Delicious, generously-portioned and paired with the white Celestine Blondeau Pouilly Fumé 2004, $15.99, prompted table companion Arlene McGoldrick to whisper, “This is a marriage made in heaven.” I agreed, adding:

“I rarely experience point-and-counterpoint at the same time, but I do here: I experience the compatibility of food/wine harmony -- point; I experience the balance of food/wine opposites -- counterpoint. What a superb pairing!”

The Little James Basket Press Rhone Rouge wine 2005, $7.99, for the third course was being poured, which would accompany the giant barbequed shrimp and Japanese rice cake.

I sternly advised the giggling Gerties to forgo their giggling; reminded them that wine dinners are deadly serious with us; that our dispositions for an entire week reflect our pleasure or displeasure with the dining event; that their behavior should enhance our pleasure, not detract from it.

“Forgive, dear Juliano,” smiled Bubbles. “We’ll refrain from giggling. At least we’ll try – won’t we girls?” Boopsies and Boobsies nodded serious assent. They immediately exchanged high-fives…then, laughing, “Yes, we’ll try-y-y, we’ll try-y-y-y-y-y-y – won’t we girls?”

“That’s it! That’s it!” the professor exclaimed in frustration. “I’ve had enough. Please, Julian, convey this gaggle of gruesome giggling girlies to another table. Please, Julian…..”

I directed them to the table where Dr. Bob Ouellette was sitting and suggested they pay attention to him if they desired to learn about wine and about wine and food match-ups…and to listen, not to giggle!

As they departed, the professor sang softly in mellifluous baritone, sounding like the great Vaughn Monroe of yesteryear, “Goodbye ladies. Goodbye ladies. Goodbye ladies, I’m glad to see you go. So merrily, merrily, merrily just roll along, roll along, roll along and giggle at Dr. Bob’s table.”

Later during the dinner, why was my good friend, Dr. Bob, glaring at me?

The delectable shrimp’s barbeque sauce was assertive enough to balance the flavors of the Rhone wine red grape varieties in the blend: Grenache, Syrah, Mourvedre.

When I told our genial host, Chris Liazos, that I plan to order the sensational shrimp preparation on my next visit, I heard, “Me, too’s!” from the adjacent tables.

The robust flavors of this $7.99 exceptional bargain – PVR 150/100 – herbs, spice, berries, hints of tobacco and mineral – had delighted palateers scribbling buying orders, I among them.

Arlene announced loudly, “I rate this wine and food combination…a double A-plus! A triumph for the kitchen slaves!”

With eager anticipation I awaited the pouring of the Rhone’s Guigal Gigondas 2003 that would accompany the grilled salmon steak, prepared with soy-maple glazed with ginger and creamy coleslaw.

Guigal’s Gigondas is a particular favorite, and the $21.59 price, notwithstanding – reduced from $26.99 – I added three bottles to my purchase order. PVR 135/100.

An exclamation of exuberance from table companion, flaxen-tressed, lissome, lass Arlene, following her initial sip: “Super terrestrial! Not of this earth!” I almost ordered three more bottles!

The Gigondas, together with the lightly-smoked barbequed salmon – the latter so moist, so tender, so delicate that I thought it had been prepared poached – the course was perfection. The portion was generous, generating the need for Gigondas refills that were immediately poured by O’Hara’s Jim Vasiliadis and lovely, smiling waitresses Ann Robert and Patti Thomas.

Yishka came to our table, smiling: “I don’t hear giggling. Could it be that the dinner is so remarkable that the ladies are speech- I mean, giggle-less?”

I said, I knew that their sitting with Dr. Bob there would be no nonsense from them and that all their attention would be given to him.

Carry-home containers were appearing on tables. So large were the servings that satiety had already overcome appetite…And there was yet the final entrée, number five, to be served:

Tuscan-style herbed veal chops, with potato salad and grilled zucchini, were escorted by Guigal’s Cotes du Rhone Rouge 2004, $10.39, and Cote De L’Ange Chateauneuf du Pape $23.99.

Both wines were spectacular. I rated the Rhone Rouge 135/100; despite the Chateauneuf’s $23.99 price, reduced from $29.99, I rated it 150/100. Yes, I ordered both…and I observed a fist-full of orders already in Vasiliadis’ hands.

The tender, tasty, medium-rare veal chops, despite their being palate-exquisite, taxed my stuffed innards. I barely managed two and gave the third to my table-sharing niece.

My notes on the Rouge: “dark, ruby/purple; medium to full-bodied; vibrant and lively; concentrated and structured; peppery, plump, subtle; spicy, cassis, herbs, black fruit – superb value!”

Chateauneuf: “complex flavors of Grenache, Syrah, Mourvedre, Counoise, Cinsault: cherries, black pepper, chestnuts, game, beef, nuances of herbs, mineral; burly style; smooth swallow, long aftertaste.” Buy this gem; it’s a keeper!

Dessert: I steeled myself to eat the strawberry shortcake. I had enjoyed it some weeks ago, and remembering how delicious it was – all strawberries, whipped cream and crispy light pastry – I was determined to eat it…ALL…even if my belly busted!

My belly didn’t bust…but I did trundle from the restaurant holding onto friend, Arlene.

The dinner is summary: SPECTACULAR! Unique; each course offered many flavors. Each dish whispered sweetness from fruit, vegetable or sauce that balanced the tastes of paired Loire and Rhone wines.

Murmurs of approval pervaded the entire function room after each course. Fifty-four diners praised the flavors of the food courses, their imaginative presentation and the variety of wines.

Tom Brown III, sales consultant for Classic Wine Imports, interspersed the dinner with comments about the wines. His knowledge and articulation arrested our attention and, thankfully, stopped the exuberant noisy currents of conversation hailing the dinner throughout. He added considerable information about the wines and added to our pleasure and to the success of the dinner.

And you ain’t seen nothin’ yet: July 18, Wednesday, 6 p.m., the annual, eagerly-anticipated seafood/sparkling wine dinner – oh, that stuffed lobster, stuffed with cheese and seafood! It already is two-thirds sold out. I urge you, my friends, to reserve now – I urge NOW: 508-757-7208. Hope to see you there.

Wine Pick: Dry Creek Heritage Zinfandel 2004, around $16-$17. Blended 84-percent Zinfandel and 16 Petite Sirah, this gem of a wine offers a bouquet of black cherry, black currant with hints of vanilla and black pepper.

On the palate: black cherry, black currant, creamy spice are complemented with hints of oak and dark chocolate; perfectly balanced, smooth finish and long aftertaste. Do yourself a favor…lay some in!

Wine Pick: My most recent column recommended Loud River “Roaring Red” by LaPlaya from Chile. I have been asked by readers where it is available in central Massachusetts: McKinny’s Liquors, 624 Main St., Holden; Mass. Liquors, 392 Chandler St., Worcester; The Wine Vine, 142B Highland St., Worcester.

Go forth and visit these stores…and enjoy!
 

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julian@oxfordwineroom.com